Forgotten . . .


There are a few moments in my life I will never forget:

  • Asking Michele to marry me.
  • Michele answering ‘yes’.
  • Saying “I do”.
  • Michele telling me she’s pregnant, with twins.
  • The Doctor telling us, both of our sons have Down syndrome.

But I will never let my sons become, forgotten.

Some definitions of forgotten: unremembered, lost, left behind, consigned to oblivion, gone, out of mind . . .

When asked what happens to adults with developmental disabilities transitioning from High School to adulthood, one mother replied, ‘they are forgotten’. This mom’s words strike very close to home for me; she and her husband also have twin boys with Down syndrome. Their sons are twice the age of my sons and for the last 20 years this couple has worked their entire ‘retired’ life to leave their sons in a situation that does not leave them, forgotten.

A good home filled with care, love, support and safety; a life that is not less than what they are accustomed too.

“When we treat man as he is, we make him worse than he is; when we treat him as if he already were what he potentially could be, we make him what he should be.”

  —  Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Coach Jones puts it best, “but truth is, we’re not the ones been teachin’ Radio, Radio the one been teachin’ us, cause the way he treats us all the time is the way wish we treated each other even part of the time” . . .  

“We all have but one death to spend, and insofar as it can have any meaning, it finds it in the service of comrades in arms.” Major John Alexander Hottell III

“Heroes are made by the paths they choose, not the powers they are graced with.”
Brodi Ashton, Everneath

I choose to live my life that my sons not be forgotten. Kelly Krei


About kellykrei

Husband to Michele Martinson Krei for 34 years and father of 23 year old twin boys, Kyle & Hunter, both endowed with Down syndrome and Autism Spectrum Disorder.
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6 Responses to Forgotten . . .

  1. Carianne Adams says:

    I know that the future for you and Michele is scary. I have a brother with multiple conditions who I won’t be sure will ever be able to support himself, he is currently 32 and dependent on my parents, and the future is always over our heads too.

    I want you to know that both of your boys make my day, every day in the here and now. I haven’t had Hunter in class yet (I will 1st hour next semester) but this is my second time with Kyle. He can say my name and no matter how bad a day I have had with my other 165 students (or my OWN teenager) his “Hhhhhiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Adams!” makes my heart sing – and when I find things that he likes I feel like I am making a difference. Our Earth Science class was measuring maps and calculating the amount of time it has taken for the Hawaiian Islands chain to form; so I had Kyle color the islands based upon their age and write down their names. Then I showed him photos on my iPod that I had taken on Maui and we plotted the places on the map. He loved looking at the pictures (and finding my wedding photos).

    Yesterday we were watching a video about Iceland with a lot of exploding volcanoes (he loves these) but partway through he whispered my name and I looked over and he was emphatically pointing at his eye which he had placed a band-aid on (he thought he had a hurt from gym). I gave him a thumbs-up for taking care of his hurt and then smiled and laughed for the rest of the day.


  2. Mark Dernell says:

    Haunts us every single day Kelly. Thanks for posting. Mark


  3. solodialogue says:

    We must never stop advocating and writing for our children. They will always be the future. I understand exactly what you are saying.


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